Scared & Scarred

"यत्रा नार्यस्तु पूजयन्ते , रमन्ते तत्र देवता "

This is a saying in Sanskrit which means where women are honoured, divinity blossoms there. I think this perfectly describes the chaos our country is experiencing right now. So many cases of rapes and molestation and as if they were not enough we have people who have openly tried to justify rape through their words. It can be termed as verbal rape rather a physical one as it causes equal trauma. Don't believe Me, read it HERE.

I strongly believe our words are an expression of our thoughts through which we might want to convince someone by putting across our point or make them change their thoughts. And yes, this post did make Me change my thoughts.Till now I was under the impression that in this male dominated Indian society only a handful of men are left who because of their education and limited exposure look upon women as weaker sex. But I have realised how wrong I was. The writer here is an IAS officer and most importantly father of two daughters. I am curious to know whether he was thinking like a father when he was writing this article and may God forbid had any of his loved ones experienced this would he have been able to treat something as gory as rape with so much dignity. It hurts to see that we are are not only disrespected but there is also a total disregard to our emotions and feelings here. I appreciate the freedom of expression and each one of us having the right to have difference of opinion. But your views cannot be hurting anyone sentiments for sure. And the most appalling fact about this entire post is it was published in a leading Women's' e zine.

Source: Google Images

Throughout my school and college days I have experienced eve-teasing like any other girl. Sometimes to the extent where I would be scared to leave my house for weeks together. Everybody blamed me, my dressing style and my behaviour for this even at that time. Those incidents left a huge scar on my conscience. I mastered the art of self defense to protect myself from such hooligans but till date that fear refuses to leave me. Everytime I see a nasty look thrown at Me I shudder.....a had tries to touch me in a crowd I cringe and want to scream at the thought of what must be going on in that person's mind.I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, an aunt, but above all I am soul. Can I be looked beyond my body and through my soul?

Posts like this make me feel more scared. Scared of living in a place like this and more so giving birth to a daughter here where she will also be surrounded by hungry wolves looking for a prey. I am scared of dressing up fashionably for the fear of being tagged available. I am afraid of fantasizing dancing on Chikni Chameli / Sheila ki jawani for the fear of being taken as making cheap advances. I fear going to parties as I don't want to send out an open invitation to those people. In short I fear living my life the way I would want to because of some people out there who call themselves the morale police & who seem to have taken the onus of fulfilling our fantasies. Okay we all have fantasizes, but does that anywhere justify violence or crime? The answer is a simple NO.

I want to ask something to the writer of this post and others who think like him;

You seem to know my deep hidden fantasies very well. Can you also feel the fear which is deep instilled in my heart? And if you do, can you help me overcome my fear the way you want to help me fulfill my fantasies.


  1. An interesting and factual post. What you have realised is same as many other women are feeling in our country and in few other countries as well.
    I used to think that education may help in reducing this eve-teasing but I have seen many educated people doing this.
    Don't let the fear hover around you. There are few good people still left :).

    1. Thanks for the last lines.... I wish I could agree to this though... because for me that few is very very very few who are closely connected with me. Rest all strangers denote fear for me.

      Sad state of mind to be in I know but cannot help as it is them who has led me to think like this.


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