Yesterday when the Delhi gang-rape girl succumbed to her injuries somewhere in Singapore there was something that died in every Indian woman. More than anything else it was the hope, hoping for things to change, hoping to feel safe in her own country and hoping to not be blamed for a crime committed on her.
That girl might have died physically yesterday but actually we had killed her long back already. We killed her when we blamed her for all that she went through. Though if I ask who is to be blamed for this, there are a lot of voices which will say the system and law and order. But there are also many voices which said it’s her fault to be out at this time. Or rather should I say it’s her fault she was born a woman in our country. I am shocked at the thoughts of the society where they surprisingly blame a woman for any untoward incident happening with her.
When I was abused as a child – I was blamed for it.
When as a teenager some random youth molested me on the road – I was blamed for it.
I was asked to dress more decently, pretend to be coy and not behave in a manner which was attracting. I cried a lot at that time, thinking I am unfortunate to have been born in a conservative society and I thought things would change once I grow up. But sadly things still remain the same. Today when I face indecent proposals at work place; I am blamed for it. In the Bijal case of 2003, she was blamed and in the Park Street case also she was blamed. Nothing has changed. Neither has the culprit, nor the treatment being vetted out in such cases. Be it acid attacks, molestation, eve teasing or rape. The victim is the culprit. That is the diktat.
We women seem to have some magical ability to create trouble around us every time! We attract problems like a magnet. I wonder if the people who blame us even would have said the same things had it been someone from their own closed family or friends. Whom are they trying to fool when we say we have progressed a lot as country and as a society and that they believe in equality between men and women? Where is the equality when it comes to safety on roads for us? Why is that if we dress up in a particular manner it is construed as an open invitation? Why that is some people have the right to be the moral police and hand us a list of do’s and don’ts while actually they are the very people who create the problems in the first place. Every time we have asked such questions we have been handed over a bunch of lies wrapped up in one line which makes us the culprit.
The only thing that I would like to say is –
Guilty my lord! It’s my fault that I am born a girl and hence all this is happening with me! After being through so many endless blames I want to add one more to the this list by committing female foeticide. For I cannot let another Me be born and undergo all these things. I would rather gift her death before she is born rather than giving her a new death every day.